Over the past couple of days, we've had the opportunity to meet with lots of different people in and around Mamallapuram. The majority of people we've exchanged pleasantries with have been entirely superficial and calculated - beyond the everyday, "Hello friend! How are you?", comes the inevitable, "You want look in my shop?" It's easy enough to ignore the "touts" and their phony sales pitches, but occasionally you find some truly generous, genuine people who are interested in the individual as much as the sale. Perhaps two of the greatest friendships we've made while staying on the coast came from two of the most honest businessmen we've met in India.
Sajad and Shahid are Kashmiri natives who run a seasonal tourist shop near the beach in Mamallapuram. At first, we were drawn in by their whole-hearted greetings, and friendly, no pressure invitation to browse the shop. As we looked around, Sajad was more than happy to explain the differences between various silks and silk blends - explaining the time and effort put into each piece. We were surprised at the time and effort he took to describe the overall function of the marketplace, and impressed by his knowledge of the various cotton-silk blends available. (Up until this point, all we heard was, "Yes madam, 100% silk!", or, "50/50 blend, sir!") What impressed us most, was his warm, quiet demeanor, his modesty, and his reasonable pricing.
We didn't intially buy anything that night, but the next morning we found ourselves at the store front looking inside. After some small talk and a very generous discount, we walked out of the store with at least two extra pounds of goodies to squash in our packs. Most customer-proprietor relationships end as soon as one walks out the door, but Sajad and Shahid were incredibly kind and made it a point to wave "hello" every time we walked past the store to the beach. It wasn't long before we found ourselves talking for an hour at a time each evening as we walked home from the beach.
After many long talks of mountains, politics, cricket and cuisine outside the shore front, Sajad invited the two of us for dinner over at his house. Needless to say, we were honored, albeit a bit taken aback. Neither John nor I have ever been invited as "tourists" to a native's house before, so neither of us knew quite what to expect. What stressed us out the most was what exactly we should bring to complement dinner. Sajad and Shahid are both practicing Muslims, and I knew that wine was quite out of the question (nevermind that in Tamil Nadu you can't find a place to sell you a beer for under $3.00. The consumption of alcohol is frowned upon here, though beer is available in restaurants at steep "whitey" prices.) So we decided on cookies and dates as an after-dinner treat and made our way to dinner.
As it turned out, Sajad's mother and father were in town visiting for the week - a lovely surprise as Sajad's mother prepared the entire meal in traditional Kashmiri style. (Sajad and Shahid told us later that they'd never have invited us over if they were the responsible for the meal. They were afraid we'd never eat Kashmiri food again!) Sajad's family were beautiful and most gracious hosts, they led us in a short Muslim blessing and insisted that we ate first - before the rest of the family. The meal itself was so tasty - Sajad's mother prepared traditional Kashmiri chili-chicken with rice and veggies, as well as a nummy carrot relish and side salad. I felt bad, seeing as how all this work was put into preparing such a delicious and rich meal, so I swallowed a few bites of chicken and more than my fair share of the gravy - so as not to appear as an ungrateful guest. ( I suffered for it the next morning, but I have to admit the savory flavors were well worth the tummy discomfort.)
But beyond the food, the company we kept along with the feeling of contentment and belonging are memories we'll keep with us long after we return state-side. It was so comfortable lounging on the tile floor and watching Sajad's baby brother dance to the soft background music, hearing stories of their beloved homeland of Kashmir and feast they are planning for us upon our arrival ("two years from now?"). The entire evening was so intoxicatingly wonderful that I can't imagine a more satisifying night in India.
(We've rescued this draft from the abyss! It was supposed to be posted several days ago, but our connection was snarky and disagreeable. We're hoping to follow this post up with its companion piece in a few days - a commentary of a traditonal Hindi dinner. But for now, enjoy our wonky, blurry camera pictures of our new friends and our favorite meal in India!)
-Colie
8 comments:
As a carnasaur, I can honestly say that the chili-chicken prepared by Sajad's mother was most certainly "finger-licking good"! Fortunately, our cook was quite pleased as I didn't hesitate to put the cliche' into action to clear my fingers of leftover sauce. Think of the best hot wing sauce you'ver ever had - this was 100x better. Sajad's father was more than happy to keep piling hunks of the delicious chicken onto my plate as I would near finishing what I had. When I was done, he gave me one more for good measure. Though I protested somewhat, I really did want another piece. I ate a lot - but not so much as to be a glutton. Kashmiris love their food - just another common bond we have.
One noteworthy perspective we have gained from Sajad, his family, Shahid, and the many other Kashmiris and Indians we have had the pleasure to meet - is that of respect, understanding and tolerance for others' views and beliefs. At our dinner, the offer was made for a Christian prayer as well as the Muslim blessing. We expressed our desire to experience the meal as they traditionally would and that we were honored to be included as guests. Moderate Muslims, as we have encountered in our conversations throughout our travels, are very quick to point out the similarities between Islam and Christianity, stressing the minor nature of the differences bewteen the two. Many have studied both religions at length (along with many others), and have at their core (as is widespread throughout the peoples of India) a seeming desire to simply be a better person. To better one's self and transcend the temptations of selfishness and be good to others. I guess I am striving to convey to you how welcome and loved this family made us feel. There was an obvious, total sincerity in their desire to have us as guests. Of course I initially had reservations and some alarms in my Westernized head about going off to a private residence for a meal with people I had known for just a few days. These only creeped into my skull as I was away from our friends, and any doubts were allayed once I would again return to reflection of the honest, warm conversations we shared with our friends. India teaches you to leave your naivete at home - lest you get scammed at every corner. But many here are hungry to have real conversations and express their love and hope for a future without conflict. SO you take a chance to learn.
Kashmiris have lived with serious conflict in their homeland for some time - many their entire lives. The Indian and Pakistani struggle for the valley, who gets the tax money, the fruits of the people's labor, the resources, etc., boil down to money matters. Kashmir is primarily Muslim, but many of these Muslims want to be a part of India, which they feel is a more natural border, and less is demanded of them from India than Pakistan. This is not total concensus, but nearly all Kashmiris desire peaceful resolution. There is a current peace, which Kashmiris express with extreme joy, pride, and hope. Their eyes always glisten and they get excited looks of children as they rejoice and praise the calm state of their beloved home. I hope this peace will last for them, as they are a truly wonderful people.
As a final note, Sajad and Shahid, being from the north, had never had prawns (shrimp, they are big here!) in their lives. We discussed this at length, as I just couldn't imagine them missing my favorite food. Prawns are on the "ok" list for practicing Muslims (prepared halal), so we put our plan into action, and had the honor to hook them up with a jumbo prawn plate from Antony's (the restaurant across from their shop). Antony and Gheeta are also friends with Sajad and Shahid - and fortunately for us all Antony is no slouch in prepping truly amazing prawns. We did this as a parting act of friendship, and as a "thank you" for our enriched experience. I'll post a few pics of the prawns later - they were remarkable! Also, don't get too jealous: At a seafood restaurant called The Blue Elephant I had an entire live lobster, a whole red snapper, one tiger prawn (rivalling the lobster in size - about a 7 inch tail), two jumbo prawns, tons of calamari, fries and salad - for 580 rupees. That's under $15 US. My big meal for the trip. Okay, be jealous.
-John
Gah! Make me hungry. I guess I'll just starve the buddies and go searching for seafood. HA!
John- We noticed that Sajad or Shahid (whichever one is wearing the orange shirt) has a climbing-grade carabiner(as opposed to a mere key chain biner) hanging from his belt loop. Any comments?
Colie - Nice use of the modesty scarf!
Hey, Chad & Mary!
Leave it to you two notice the "rack" on the natives. Yes, that is a US made BD light D carabiner. Sajad is wearing the biner, a last day gift from us given that he will be back in Kashmir in 2 months, and apparently is close to some rocks - and some mountains called, em, what was it?, oh yeah. . . the Himalayas. Both are fond of trekking and eagerly awaiting their 90 KM trek they will begin upon their return. I explained the ridiculous trend that has some near janitorial prowess in the States of wearing keys on biners (as I was so fond of doing in middle and high school) through belt loops. Honestly, I never really thought it thast bad, and still miss the days of having my keys at the ready - plus it's good training for clipping the rope. He (Sajad) very much liked this idea, which never breached India - so I think 1/6 the world's population is in for a fashionable, functional revolution. Sajad and Shahid are to share the carabiner, as a test of their partnership, though I thinki Sajad has claimed primary ownership and I fear Shahid will never get the carabiner. Maybe we'll ship him one once we get home.
Chad and Mary -
Yeah, I may be the stereotypical American hussy on the (private) beaches, but when we're out and about in town I try to be as discrete as possible. That's not to say the looks I get are any less discrete from the majority of male locals, but John and I offer our fair share of sideways glances of at the male-on-male handholding phenomenon. So I'd call it about even.
Colie
whats with the random deleted comment in the middle of all of that? Is it juicy? Is it worth knowing why it was deleted??
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